Fixing ‘Wasy’ Wording

Challenge yourself to create more vivid writing.

I appreciate the advice from children’s writer Christian Harder Tangvald: “Circle every is and was on your manuscript; you don’t want writing that’s “isy” and “wasy.”

So I checked each use of was while I edited the 60,000-word YA novel. It started with 942. I cut that to 786.

The word isn’t evil; but it’s often slothful. These before-and-after examples show you reasons to see each use of was an invitation to more dynamic writing.

Original:  It was one of Mom’s security guards, he had a round face and wore a navy suit.
Revised:  One of Mom’s security guards, he had a round face and wore a navy suit.

Original:  An individual on death row having their final meal was closer to my state.
Revised:  I felt like someone on death row having their final meal.

Original:  Your father was unable to make eye contact as he said goodbye.
Revised:  Your father couldn’t make eye contact as he said goodbye.

Original:  He was lying on the sofa in Mom’s office.
Revised:  He lay on the sofa in Mom’s office.

Original: No, my love had died, she was killed in a hit and run.
Revised:  No, my love had died, killed in a hit and run.

Original:  Mom’s manicured hand was on the door knob.
Revised:  Mom’s manicured hand appeared on the door knob.

Original:  The envelope was written in the same handwriting …
Revised:  The envelope had the same handwriting …

Original:  The light was a lantern hanging from a metal pole that was stuck into a gray rock wall.
Revised:  A lantern hung from a metal pole stuck into the gray rock wall.

As you edit your work, look for this weak verb construction — and ways to change it from “wasyto wonderful.

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About Andy Scheer

With more than 30 years in publishing, Andy Scheer has provided freelance editorial services since 2010. He has edited fiction and nonfiction for publishers including Moody, WinePress, and BelieversPress, as well as for clients including Dirk Cussler, McNair Wilson, DiAnn Mills, Heather Day Gilbert, and Sammy Tippit.

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